Breakage turn into a leak to be repaired.

Pus.

A generally viscous yellowish white fluid formed in infected tissue consisting of white blood cells, cellular debris and necrotic tissue.

Thats what the dictionary defines. For me, i would put pus as the form of pain after we, as human produce to keep reminding us that we were hurt.

And after that, there it was what we call scar.

Scar.

A mark left on the skin after a surface injury or wound has healed.

That was a dictionary definition as well. Well, a dictionary inside my head states that it simply a signature to show we as human gets used to be hurt. Again and again. No matter how many times, thousands or billion times that it would still be called scar.

Only that there would be more.

One day, a friend of mine told me that she woke up one day feeling so depressed, crushed with a question inside her mind, well maybe inside her heart that what it was for her to live up her life up to that moment. Up to this moment.

Having the moment hearing that from her awakened me and reminded me of my memories i have been trying so hard to bury deep inside.

So deep that up to this moment of writing, i still could not find the memory. The memory that created a lot of pus and has left a scar i have hidden so well. I hid that scar with solitudes, trying to find a peace out of being alone, being personal incase i need to discover myself more. Further down. Deeper.

But its difficult. I had a hard time finding it.

It hurts so much just to find the scar from that question. I need to create a lot more scratches and pains just to look for that exact scar just because.

Yes.
Just because there are so may scars covering up one on top of each other that i need to scratch harder.

I didn't know it would be this hard just. Leave alone finding the answer for the question but i need to hold up my breathe and realizing what i have been through. One scar opens up into another pus. A pus would turn into a scar. And there it goes. It will never end.

The melody of life, that you sometimes hear. The bass will take over. And there it comes, the sound of violin so beautifully played that it hurts you to listen thoroughly. And out of sudden, the loud drums will cover up any other melodies, out of tunes so badly it sounds like a wreckage. Boom!!!

Its your turn to stand up and applause or sit like a child not knowing how to react to the whatsoever called new experience.

A breakage turn into a leak,

A new pus.

A leak needed to be repaired.

A new scar.

A new pus, and yet another new scar.