The windmill of the famous Moulin Rouge stands proudly distracting my amazement of the busy roads in downtown Paris. Winds and rains are doing their duty to ruin the day. But the windmill stays there. Silently. Such a beauty. Covering up how busy the performers of the Moulin Rouge dancers inside. Fooling every person looking or even just passing by. But when I paid attention closely, it actually was moving slowly. Never stop. Gracefully.
"Things don't always look like how they seem"
This somehow reminds me of how the world works. Many of human beings live with such rules and regulations that we forget to stop for a while to look inside. To really pay attention of what the first intention of those rules and regulations was made in the first place.
I somehow have been blessed enough to have gone through many ups and downs so that I am able to realise of how amazingly small things could create such big impacts. I thank God for this gift. But for the longest time, I have never really found the purpose of my life. Well, other than to make my family happy and to make my Creator satisfied fully with what I do.
That last point has been tricking me though. It has always been about what I do. I am used to the concept of just do things I could do to make Him happy. At least to the limit of my own capacity. Not that what I have done was ever enough.
But thats it. I thought its only about what I do. Not what I am. What I have been all along.
"Just because everything is changing, it doesn't mean that its never been this way before. "
I have been looking. Searching. Exploring. But I never really see until now. That, what I could do to make me a person is just being me. Whatever rules and regulations have been made for the last two thousand years of sacrifices, I somehow came to this point of being able to see. Not only look. Leave alone all those fears and blessed burdens. Its all about being the real me now.
An opportunity came to me one day and I took the chance. I left all what I have been fighting for the last twenty seven years of my life. And I happily embrace it. I found the point of my life which is being me and this person has the biggest role on lifting me up. Well, if its too big of an expression, I can rephrase that I have found the point of living by living like now. By living my life with someone who embraced me with such big heart.
This person came just out of nowhere. No expectations were made. None whatsoever. Instead, to not believe is a silly thing to do but this person is the actual expectation. Being who I am, real with no pretense is one issue. But being with this person, I could say that its the same with how sometimes things come unexpectedly right in the right moment. In the right place and time. Somehow, the universe seems to be on our side.
The rains were falling heavily by then but it soothed me so profoundly that smiles were not a stranger on my happy smiling face.
I was thinking of this special person. The one who said theres no need of goodbyes. For all other things sooner or later be over but what would happen is any of us would be coming back for each other. For the right reasons, of whatever reasons out there, I do believe the hope. The hope of believing hopes.
None really knows how big of an impact this person has been doing the extraordinaries. Lifting me up. By just being real.
"I'll come back when you call me. No need to say goodbye." Is exactly my reply to.....
"You'll come back. When it's over. No need to say goodbye. "
Those are the lyrics of one song which has a special meaning for this special person of mine. And now, those lyrics have become part of me. Specially placed in my heart. Cheesy is what all this could be but whats there to hide.
No pretense. No false hopes.
There are things happening so extraordinarily that it amazes me. Things that we share in common as well as the things we discuss to have made us quarell, somehow so openly that we trust each other that it won't do us any harms.
A bus passed me by with an advertisement of a movie which was the favorite of this special person. Killed me when i saw it. I could not believe my eyes. Now, I dont see how it could work as a sign. For sign is only a sign. But I dont believe in coincidence.
That I believe, coincidence is simply just a destined storylines that have been interwined and intersected and were supposed to be one. It may sounds crazy. Insensible. Rare.
But thats the point. For it is extremely rare.
But it exists.
O yes. I almost forgot.
I just looked at the windmill and to tell you the truth, it never actually moved. It was just my mind playing its part.
Somehow, my mind told my eyes that it was moving. It was all in my mind. But hey, does it mean its not real if it only occurs in our mind?
